Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Day Three: Charlotte, NC - Westminster, MD

Mile 1064 -- Leaving Sheri's place & following her. Jeff and Keith decide that the HHR smells. Some sort of Heinous, Horrible Rot.

Mile 1065.7 -- B'bye, Sheri! We'll miss you! Thanks for everything!!

Mile 1067.3 -- Idiot in a tan car nearly kills us. Hi, they hate our kind here in the south! Keith is now stuck in the slow lane behind a boat.

Mile 1097 -- Jeff & Keith wonder if there are mountains on the way. They worry because HHR definitely is NOT a High, Hilly Roadster.

Mile 1107 -- Keith sees a sign for "Third Creek" and wonders where the first two went. And also where this one is, as there is no sign of water anywhere. Jeff wonders how to make a Dawson's Creek joke without getting sent to Comedy Jail. He decides to keep quiet.

Mile 1136 -- Hi, it's one freakin' lane. Jeff and Keith exclaim, "Bah!" a lot.

Mile 1165 -- Hi, Virginia! Weee! Radar dectors are illegal here, as it turns out. Keith points out that we barely have a steering wheel, so we needn't worry.

For lovers!

Mile 1167 -- "Area subject to crosswinds." Hi, we're effed. And also, Hi, there's the mountains.

AHHH! We don't take high roads here!

Mile 1173 -- Where can we get some Fancy Clothes. . .?

Mile 1174 -- Jeff and Keith begin to play Cow Poker. Bah!

Mile 1190 -- Virginia's Technology Corridor. Keith points out that it looks like the old farm house from The Ring.

Mile 1192 -- Keith pulls ahead at Cow Poker. Jeff hates Cow Poker, and damns Kara and LucasLucas for telling us about it.

Mile 1195 -- Jeff remembers that Kara makes up her own rules to Cow Poker and follows suit. Winning ensues.

Mile 1197 -- The Misprintz come on the ipod! weee!

Mile 1204 -- A small bug on the window of the HHR becomes a smeared mess when Jeff rolls down Keith's window to kill it. "Ewww"ing ensues.

Mile 1212 -- Jeff looks at AAA books.

Mile 1212.2 -- Jeff rapidly loses interest.

Mile 1234 -- WEEOO! 1234!

Mile 1248 -- We enter a Highway Safety Corridor. Safety ensues.

Mile 1252 -- Salem, VA. hi, witches didn't burn here.

Mile 1254 -- Salem's a rather fickle city: First she welcomes us and now this:


Mile 1256 -- Giant tire debris is all over freeway. Giant tractor trailer winds up in Rumble Strips Does the sanctity of the Safety Corridor mean nothing to people anymore?

Mile 1257.3 -- Safety Corridor ends. Murdering ensues.

Mile 1262 -- In Roanoke for food! And to wazz!

Mile 1262.9 -- Lost in Roanoke. Lured in by a sign that promised an eatery called "Hollywood's Cafe"

Mile 1263.4 -- We found 1987. But not Hollywood's Cafe.

The cast of That 80's Show is still at large.

Mile 1266 -- Abandoning Roanoke, and the search for Hollywood's Cafe. Jeff and Keith pine for "The bit that got away."

Mile 1268 -- Keith declares that Jeff is the worst co-pilot ever. Jeff insists it is because he has urine in his eyes. And possibly sepsis.

Mile 1270 -- Shoneys!

Mile 1274 -- Driver's side vent falls off in the HHR. Ofcourseitdoes.

Mile 1296 -- HHR continues to get pelted with bugs on the freeway, runs out of wiper fluid.

Mile 1309 -- 127 More Exits to go. Keith's head would explode, but there is no wiper fluid to wash it out. Jeff realizes why Jon's supposed to plan these road trips.

Mile 1329 -- Keith puts Jeff into comedy solitary. Jeff's too tired to remember why, but knows he probably deserved it.

Mile 1341 -- Keith pulls off the freeway to get some Dunkin Donuts coffee.

Mile 1341.6 -- Hey! This is where they make the alphabet!

Mile 1395.4 -- Keith notices we're only 40 exits away now.

Mile 1397 -- Jeff accidentally steals Keith's coffee. "It sure was good," Jeff reports.

Mile 1402.8 -- Jeff and Keith need to know exactly how water towers work.

Mile 1408, 4 -- Woodstock, VA. "Go home, Hippies!"

Mile 1427 -- It rains on us. And only us.

Mile 1452 -- Welcome to West Virginia: Now in the running to be America's next Chainsaw Massacre!

Mile 1468 -- Keith and Jeff are terrified of West Virginia. Seriously.

Mile 1469 -- Welcome to MD!

Mile 1471 -- Keith: "This is like Stand By Me."
Jeff: "YOU'RE like Stand By Me!"
Keith: "I'd like to stand by you. Out of this car."

Mile 1474 -- The Blair Witch Road.

Mile 1482 -- After eight miles of bits, we're done with the Blair Witch.

Mile 1530 -- Hi, best western with Mollyjoy! Wee!

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