Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Dangerous Liaisons

After leaving Tallahassee, Keith and I drove into Georgia. As soon as we crossed the border, we decided to stop at a Waffle House for some grub. Once we got off the highway, we noticed something even more alluring than the Waffle House:

Horrifically Hungry Roamers

Big Mama's Kitchen, with its pink paint job and its All You Can Eat Buffet signage looked far too good to pass up. Keith and I entered and were treated to real southern soul food. About a hundred servings of it.

Keith Eats Soul (but he's not a solider!)

While in there, we fell in love with another waitress--Geraldine, who insisted we all try out her very own Banana Pudding. (It was delicious.) The real highlight of the afternoon was when I whipped out my computer to show Keith something. The patrons and employees alike began freaking out, gasping in awe and saying things like, "That's one of those Laptop things! I wanna get me one of them so bad!" And, "That must have cost, what? A hundred bucks?"

It was amazing and embarrassing all at once.

We made a hasty exit (well...hasty is a strong word, considering we had just eaten over forty pounds of food) and trekked all the way through Georgia and into South Carolina to visit my friend John that I knew from my time working in Wildwood, NJ.

I haven't seen John in a little over a year, and before that, it had been eight or nine years. After getting a bit lost (due to the fact that we didn't actually get the GPS at Walmart last night. Guess Matt was right, after all!) we finally pulled up to John's house, who invited us to go ahead and park on the lawn.

HHR: It's not just for streets anymore.

You see, John's getting ready to move out of the house with his wife, and so--it's pretty much a free-for-all there. For example--as you walk in, the dark panelling of the walls, coupled with the closed blinds make for a nearly pitch black living room. That is, until you screw in the light bulb on the ceiling fan that hangs above the coffee table.

As John showed me to the rest room, we saw the bathroom door:

Here's a close-up of the sheet that seperates you from the rest of the house as you shower, shave or urinate:

It was great to see John again and catch up on all the randomness that we used to do, and on the terrifying people we used to know back in Cape May, NJ.

Jeff and John pose with the man who invented the HHR

We also went to dinner with his roommate Brian , who regaled us with stories about blowing up a bottle of Tabasco sauce using some gun powder that John had in the house. Shrapnel was everywhere--including Brian's body. And he's got the scars to prove it.

Brian and his heart of glass.

Those guys were fun as hell to visit, but Miss Sheri had some plans for us in Charlotte, NC, so after dinner, we drove through the rest of South Carolina and finally got here to Charlotte to meet up with Sheri and her dog Richie:

Keith & Jeff after four states in eight hours and a Very Refreshing Sheri!

Sheri was kind enough to take Keith and I to Liaisons immediately after we arrived. We met up with her friends Kara and Lucas (NOT KEITH!) As Keith mentioned, those two were insane and hilarious, all at once. They had us laughing nonstop with their shtick. Or it might have been the booze that Lucas kept buying us. (Both LucasKeith and LucasLucas.) Either way, I'll remember this night fondly...if I remember it at all.

Thanks to Sheri and her dog Richie for letting Keith and I crash here tonight. Starting riiiiiiight NOW!

Richie Says "Goodnight... and if you asses try to dress me up, you'll be dead by morning!"

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